How Journaling My Anxiety Put ME in Control

As I am on vacation, this is a repost of an older post that resonated with a lot of people. I hope it still does.

How Journaling My Anxiety Put ME in Control

I have talked before about my sporadic bouts of anxiety and depression.  Many of you experience that too, and have left me the kindest words.  

Since the start of 2016, I have felt overwhelmed by the many obligations I have - and the ones I put on myself.  

The other night, I had lists of my many "to dos" swirling in my head. I had the image of myself slumping down the wall in a long hallway with doors.  Behind each door was an area of my life calling to me.  My inability to prioritize, to eliminate, to say no, threatened to engulf me under the weight of letting people down, not fulfilling expectations.  I quickly sketched it out, writing down, on each of the doors, a list of the things that were "calling" for me.   After I did this, I was able to fall asleep.

When I woke up, I immediately took to painting my page.  The first thing I did was CLOSE THOSE DOORS!  I even stenciled hands on them to hold them shut, and one to stroke my head.  When I was nearly done, I gave the hallway stenciled windows to the outside, to light, sky and fresh air.  I can prioritize, say no, pause and take some deep breaths.  I am in control!

Here's a fast forward video of me painting this page, from start to finish.

 

You can also watch "Journaling My Anxiety" on YouTube here.

Creating this page helped me regain control of my feelings and thoughts.

Do you have a journaling or other practice that helps you with your inner demons?  Please share!

         Visit Stencil Girl Products and RubberMoon Stamps to see all my designs!

If you haven't already - please connect with me here:

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Your comments make me so happy and let me know you were here. I read and treasure every comment and will happily answer any questions as soon as I can.

Thank You!

How Journaling My Anxiety Put ME in Control

I have talked before about my sporadic bouts of anxiety and depression.  Many of you experience that too, and have left me the kindest words.  

Since the start of 2016, I have felt overwhelmed by the many obligations I have - and the ones I put on myself.  

The other night, I had lists of my many "to dos" swirling in my head. I had the image of myself slumping down the wall in a long hallway with doors.  Behind each door was an area of my life calling to me.  My inability to prioritize, to eliminate, to say no, threatened to engulf me under the weight of letting people down, not fulfilling expectations.  I quickly sketched it out, writing down, on each of the doors, a list of the things that were "calling" for me.   After I did this, I was able to fall asleep.

When I woke up, I immediately took to painting my page.  The first thing I did was CLOSE THOSE DOORS!  I even stenciled hands on them to hold them shut, and one to stroke my head.  When I was nearly done, I gave the hallway stenciled windows to the outside, to light, sky and fresh air.  I can prioritize, say no, pause and take some deep breaths.  I am in control!

Here's a fast forward video of me painting this page, from start to finish.

You can also watch "Journaling My Anxiety" on YouTube here.

Creating this page helped me regain control of my feelings and thoughts.

Do you have a journaling or other practice that helps you with your inner demons?  Please share!

And please check back TOMORROW for a special announcement!  I'm so excited to share it, but tomorrow's the day! 

Your comments make me so happy and let me know you were here. I read and treasure every comment and will happily answer any questions as soon as I can.

If you haven't already - please connect with me here:

InLinkz.com

Thank you!

Frida Kahlo Inspiration at Creative Jumpstart

Read to the end for a giveaway!  Week three at Creative Jumpstart was devoted to Frida Kahlo.   While I'm a fan of her work, I have never tried to paint in her style.  It was fun to spend a week not only studying Kahlo's work and inspiration, but watching how five amazing artists translated her themes into their own work.  (You can see the influences of Matisse and Basquiat here.)  Do you see Frida Kahlo's influence in the work I created last week?

One of the most transformative techniques I learned was painting with acrylic inks and using them like watercolors.  Here's a video of that process, using my Layered Peonies stencil from Stencil Girl Products:

You can also watch "Achieving Watercolor Effects with Acrylic Paints on YouTube here.  


I've been posting all my #cjs16 pictures on Instagram @jessica_sporn.  I've just started using Insta and I'm liking the immediacy of it.  I'd love it if you would follow me there too.

As an incentive - I'm offering the Layered Peonies stencil as a giveaway to someone who comments on this post and, for an extra chance to win, comments on Instagram too!  Here are the rules!

1. Leave a comment on this post that includes your email address in case I need to contact you.
2. For an extra chance to win, visit me on Instagram @jessica_sporn and follow me if you like what you see.
3. For a third "extra" - leave a comment on this Instagram post mentioning the Peony Stencil.
4. Time for commenting ends on Thursday, January 28, 11:59PM EST.

I'll post the winner in this blog post by Friday morning, January 29, by 10AM EST.

If you haven't already - please connect with me here:

InLinkz.com

Your comments make me so happy and let me know you were here. I read and treasure every comment and will happily answer any questions as soon as I can.

If you are entering a GIVEAWAY, please add your email address in the event I need to contact you.

To avoid SPAM, please write it like this: jessicasporndesigns (at) gmail (dot) com

Thank You!

Looking to 2013

Looking ahead to 2013, many people are picking their words for the year.   Marjie Kemper picked FOCUS,  Ronda Palazzari picked OUT, Nathalie Kalbach picked WHY.   Ali Edwards has a year long workshop around your word.  

I've been thinking about my word for the last two weeks.  At first, I thought my word would be "authentic."  Find my own true voice as an artist.  Work on art and projects that touch me in a deeply authentic way.  Though these are goals of mine, the word "authentic" didn't feel encompassing enough, and somehow felt a little narrow.

I rolled the word "specify" around in my mind.  One of my goals for 2013 is to be more discerning and specific about where I put my energy.  Although following the glittery ball can lead you to wonderful places, there is something to be said for not having too many pans on the fire, and  committing in a big way to a few ideas.  But something about "specify" also felt narrowing to me.

When I was walking my dog yesterday, thinking about being authentic and specific and discerning, the "right" word finally came to me!   

 

Embrace my authentic voice.  Embrace with 100% commitment the projects that feel truly important and authentic to my growth as an artist and person.  Embrace whatever I am doing with 100% presence and intention.  Embrace my friends and family, recognizing that they are what make my life joyous, rich and rewarding.  And embrace our dedication to our work in Guatemala, because it makes everything I do more meaningful.

This is a page in my art journal that began with a watercolor wash of blues and greens.  I cut and collaged some of the many gelli plate papers I have made, inspired by Carolyn Dube's gelli plate party.  It's still going on, so get out your gelli plate and make some fabulous collage papers for yourself!  If you don't have a gelli plate, here's a tutorial from Jennibelle's Studio about how to do similar printing with a craft mat.

Do you have a word for 2013?  What is it?  I want to know!

Thank you for visiting! I read and treasure every comment and will answer any questions as quickly as I can.

Linking up to Anything But A Card,  Make it on Monday, Mandarin Orange Monday, Create With Joy one word blog hop, Art Journal Every Day, and Creative Everyday. 

Related articles

• One Word 2013 Blog Hop - Journey
• One Little Word 2013 | Workshop Open For Registration
• Tutorial: Gelli Plate Prints

Fall Fearless and Fly, Challenge 2!

Headline Prompt:  Taking a Chance:  When did you take a chance or a leap of faith?  How did it turn out?  What did you learn?
Color Prompt:  What color do you like least? Use it!
Quote Prompt:  "Don't refuse to go on an occasional wild goose chase -- that's what wild geese are for." Anonymous

This challenge was extremely sensitive for me.  Twenty years ago, I made a very difficult decision to leave the life I had created for something very different.  It involved leaving my marriage, and changing my one year old daughter's life forever.  But it was something I had to do, not just for myself, but for her.  Once she was born, keeping up the pretense of a seemingly happy marriage became untenable.  My decision involved a huge leap of faith -- taking the chance that I would be able to create a new life for us, and the difficulties my daughter would face growing up a child of divorced parents would be outweighed by the benefit of having a brave and independent mother and a happy home infused with creativity.   Looking at my amazing daughter and all she is, I know I made the right decision.

This canvas memorializes my journey -- the three different houses represent the stages of single motherhood, a new marriage, and having my second child.  The heart in each one is my beautiful oldest daughter, whose life, laughter and love sustained me and carried me through.

Ronda Palazzari is the guest artist for this challenge at Artists in Blogland.  I hope you'll visit AIB.  Ronda's work is amazing!

And the winner of this watercolor from the last Fall Fearless challenge is... 

Deepa Gopal Sunil!  I have emailed Deepa for her snail mail address.  

Here's my giveaway for challenge #2!  If you would like to win this 6.5 x 9" watercolor:

- please comment below (and let me know you'd like the watercolor -- I don't want to send it to someone who doesn't really want it!).  For an extra chance to win, "like" my Facebook page.  For an extra, extra chance, follow my blog!

Thank you for visiting! If you are so moved, please leave a comment. Hearing from you means the world to me.

Also linking up to Art Journal Cafe (I used my pinky finger as a stamp!), Creative Every Day, and Mandarin Orange Monday!

Why Not Today?

Just a thought...

Thank you for visiting! If you are so moved, please leave a comment. Hearing from you means the world to me.

How will you seize the day?

Don't Be a Debbie Downer

Remember Debbie Downer from Saturday Night Live?  No matter how happy the gathering, she had bad news or negative feelings to share and would bring down the mood of everyone around her.   I have come to realize that I'm a Debbie Downer when I come home from being away.  My husband and daughter are so happy to see me, but then I point out what wasn't done properly while I was away, and just kill the good feelings.

 

I'm really not sure what it's all about, psychologically, but I don't want to do it anymore!  True, my daughter might not have bathed while I was gone, or had any fresh fruits and vegetables, but in the grand scheme of things, so what?  True, she watched TV instead of doing her homework, and stayed up past her bedtime, but in the grand scheme of things, does it really matter?  My husband is supportive of my going on art retreats, or to hear the Dalai Lama speak.  He does his best, and even though it's not exactly how I would do things, in the end they are both safe and sound, and so excited to see me.  In my absence, my daughter made her lunch for school each day, got herself ready in the morning so she could get to school on time, and helped feed the animals.  So why not point out the positive?  I will try to improve this aspect of myself.  I hereby promise!

By this art journal page, may it be so!

Thank you for visiting! If you are so moved, please leave a comment. Hearing from you means the world to me.

If you have a quality that you would like to exorcise, share it here, and by your commenting, may it be so!

I Am Hopeful Because...

Yesterday I heard  His Holiness the Dalai Lama speak at William and Mary.  My daughter Mariel goes to school here and being able to visit with her and hear His Holiness was such a treat.  As I sat in William and Mary Hall, watching it fill up with students and visitors, I felt such a surge of optimism and positive emotion.  I felt full of hope for our planet, which often feels torn apart and desecrated. 

I had my art journal with me and took one of the pages I had collaged but not written on (it's actually a page of scraps and leftovers) and started to make a list in the blank hearts of some of the things that make me feel hopeful.  (This is why it's great to just "unblank" a few pages -- you never know...)

HHDL:  Seeing all the students fill the seats (4000 were given to students in a free lottery) made me hopeful that some of them will take his message to heart -- that it is in our own self interest to be compassionate towards EVERYONE, even our enemies, because at heart, we all want the same things - to be happy and free from suffering.  And we all face the same problems -- sickness, death of loved ones and eventually ourselves, pain and suffering.  So even if you hate the actions, feel compassion for the actors.  Knowing that His Holiness is on a tour where he is visiting many colleges made me hopeful about all the young people who will hear his message of love and tolerance.

THE KINDNESS OF STRANGERS:  While waiting online to go in, I struck up a conversation with two nice people.  Connecting with them made me feel warm inside.  It also made me think about how, after the tsunami in Japan, the earthquake in Haiti, and 9-11, strangers pitched in and helped each other.  The willingness of people to help each other in times of need, or even just waiting on a line, makes me hopeful.

ART:  The community of artists on the retreats I've been on, and in the blog world, makes me feel very hopeful.  So many of us are doing work that taps into global concerns, or are creating work to donate, or are connecting with and supporting each other.  It fills me with warmth and hope.

MEDIA:  The ability to connect with people around the world, to see how others live, and to hear about their challenges and successes, makes me hopeful.  As the Buddha said, if you see yourself in others then whom can you harm?

MY DAUGHTERS:  I have two girls who live each day with warm hearts and open arms.  There are so many like them -- children who care about the world and who want to make it better.  This gives me hope.

What makes you feel hopeful?  Let me know.

Thank you for visiting! If you are so moved, please leave a comment. Hearing from you means the world to me.

Linking up with Mandarin Orange Monday,  Inspiration Avenue (challenge is orange!), Art Journal Everyday, Paint Party Friday and Creative Every Day.  Please visit the amazing artists linking up at these great sites!