the winner of the "Scrapping the Music" challenge last week for my design: "Sparkle." This was a very heartfelt design - inspired by the death of a friend's mother and I am so glad it resonated with the "Scrapping the Music" people.
It was really great to have this positive news today, as this was a difficult weekend on certain levels. On Saturday, my family came over in the morning for Mother's Day. Later in the day, we had a "Hunger Games" themed birthday party planned for Samy, my (now) 11 year old. Unfortunately, right at the start of my family party, my brother and I exchanged harsh words, and he ended up leaving. My brother has a difficult history in my family - he is almost always angry at my mother, my sister, or me. On Saturday, it was my turn, and I am not proud of how I handled the situation.
As a yogi, I work hard to look at life's joys and sadnesses as all part of the circle of our lives. All of my training on the mat is designed to help me take a deep breath before reacting, so as to not make difficult situations harder; and to realize that challenging moments, as well as positive and happy moments, all have the nature of changing. It is not wise to get too attached to any of them. And yet, despite all my study, meditation and practice, sometimes my wits abandon me and I do not act skillfully. Saturday was one of those moments. Later in the evening, I sent my brother a long text of apology, which is all that I can do. And yet, it is hard to let go of my disappointment in myself.
But this is part of my training too. When you do or say something you regret - recall it, express remorse, try to remediate it, and resolve not to do something like that for a reasonable amount of time. And then move on. Don't wallow in guilt - it doesn't make things better. So this new design - "Kindness Matters," is my way of processing, remediating, and hopefully inspiring myself and others to react with kindness - with the best we have to offer. It will always make things better.
On a lighter note, the "Hunger Games" Party was a success - 8 girls created "arena" outfits for themselves, stood in hula hoops before a siren announced the start of the games, and then tried to eliminate each other with water guns and water noodles. Lots of fun was had by all.